Shanon and I were at my Mom's house yesterday because we were having Raigan's birthday dinner since we didn't have one on her actual birthday and it went well for the most part. Everybody is pissed at Becky because she hasn't been home like all week and my Mom didn't hear from her for like 5 days and kept leaving voicemails and she thought Becky had killed herself or something so Raigan and Tom went looking for her and they found her at Nate's place drunk and high. So... yeah, she's an asshole. She didn't even have the courtesy to call for almost a week to say where she was or check on her son and Raigan had to take a day off work and go in late another day because she stayed at Mom's house to watch over poor Micah. My Mom works nights and in case there was an emergency she doesn't trust my Dad or my brother to take care of him or comfort him if he was scared so Raigan has been sleeping there all week and since she doesn't have a car anymore it makes it difficult for her to get to work.
And apparently Becky asked Raigan to raise Micah for her and said that she (Becky) was never meant to be a Mom and Raigan always, always wanted kids and would do a better job raising him (which is true), but Raigan's landlord doesn't allow kids to live there so she'd have to move back in with my Mom or find a new apartment, which is totally unfair. Becky is just so obsessed with her stupid abusive boyfriend that nothing else in her life matters, not her family, not her job, not even her son! Ugh, I just hate her!!!!!
So, it was awkward for everyone because we all just want to smack the shit out of her and poor Micah was saying in the car on the way over there that he was mad at her for going back to "the monster" which is what he calls her boyfriend, so he wasn't going to talk to her but he can't even stay mad at her for 5 minutes. As soon as he walked in the door to my Mom's house and saw her he ran up to her and started telling her about his week. It's just so fucking pathetic and unfair, and she had moved in to my Mom's house for about a month and even though we knew she was still texting and talking to Nate she hadn't got back together with him until Christmas which was when she found out he cheated on her, so of course she had to go running back to him. *disgusted snort* I really just want to beat some sense into her, but her boyfriend already does that. Ugh. She's had so many chances to get away from him and she just keeps going back to him so I'm just getting to the point where I don't give a shit any more.
But anyway, enough about my messed up family. I've got an appointment coming up with my therapist on Wednesday which I'm looking forward to cause on my last appointment I brought Shanon and things didn't go so well so I'd like to talk about that. Plus I've been super depressed, and I kept bursting into tears yesterday over nothing. Since my Doctor decreased one of my meds I've just been ridiculously sensitive and keep having all these bad thoughts about myself... basically feeling worthless and undeserving of love lol. It's not funny actually, but it's just so sad that I have to sort of laugh it off before I start crying again. Ugh, no thanks!!
Not much else has been going on really and my ass is starting to fall asleep from sitting in this chair so I will end this entry right now and hopefully write again soon, it feels good to get stuff off my chest, it really does make me feel a bit better. :-)
